Letting Go Of Perfectionism
It is easier to change when we accept that what we do does not have to be perfect.
This one can be really hard for those of us who have perfectionist tendencies. If you are familiar with the Enneagram, which is a personality framework, I am a “One” on the Enneagram. The One-type is literally named the “Perfectionist”. The upside is very high standards, commitment to improvement and strong internal drive. But it also has a strong downside.
As we work on changing ingrained behaviors and habits and pursuing our inner longings, we need to be comfortable with less than perfect.
Just like successful businesses often use a "test and learn" approach to developing new ideas, we can do the same in our lives. We can design little experiments to see how adopting a new habit, quitting another habit or starting to pursue a dream works for us.
The point is, we can take steps towards transformation without having everything be perfect or figured out. For many of us, that’s going to take a shift in our mindset.
This was evident for me when I first tried to control my drinking. I assumed I had to do it perfectly. I thought if should be able to quit easily, with no support or tactics, and also keep up an intense exercise, work and volunteering schedule.
I was reminded of Brené Brown’s quote from her book The Gifts of Imperfection: “Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. It’s a shield.” I realized that I was afraid of failing at my quest to stop drinking, and I was using my perfectionism as an excuse to start really trying to quit.
One tactic that has helped me overcome perfectionism is to do more micro-experiments. Rather than making a big change or taking a sweeping action, consider starting with a micro-experiment. Starting with micro-experiments helps you build the experimentation muscle, helping you gradually become more comfortable with less than perfect. These can be small, cheap and net fast results. With drinking, this can be just reading one chapter in a book about alcohol freedom each day (or watch one video), rather than transforming your life overnight.
If you are interested in judgement-free guidance, support and accountability to help you achieve your goals one small micro-experiment at a time, book a free 30 minute breakthrough call to discuss how you can live a life of freedom.
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